Living in Faith or Fear?

Posted on Monday, Apr 25, 2016

I thought I’d start off with a few facts:
  • 7 weeks that I’ve lived in DC so far
  • 6 Aggie roommates
  • 5-day work weeks have only happened twice
  • 4 pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream consumed (forgive me, Blue bell)
  • 3 weekends with friends from far away
  • 2 snowstorms
  • 1 incomparable internship
Coming into this semester in DC, I can truthfully say I was excited. Scared, yes, but excited. I’ve never lived further than 45 miles from my family, even throughout college. I’ve always had my closest friends just a street or two down the road. I was familiar with my class schedule and my work schedule, and with all the best coffee shops in College Station. Overall, I was comfortable. And as easy as comfortable is, I had been longing for a change thiat would challenge me, and that is what I hoped to find this spring. Well, I can assure you that I got exactly that within my first few days of being in DC. And it wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago that this feeling hit me: I felt like I wasn’t living fully present in this new season of my life. Upon coming here, I was told by everyone that DC is full of such opportunity and that it would be the greatest experience of my life. I believed that and wanted to find that true, but struggled to see that for a while.  I came to the conclusion that the reason for all of this doubt is that I have been living in fear, and not so much in faith. My Christian faith is the most central part of my life – everything I think and do flows from it. Working at International Justice Mission (IJM) has stretched my faith and grown my character more than I could’ve imagined, and yet still I have been living in fear. Why?
 
I’ve seen God’s provision after provision beyond what I could’ve imagined in my time here. The opportunity to be here with the PPIP program, all the new friendships formed, my personal and professional development, a widening of the way I view the world, exposure to culture and diversity – just to name a few. I’ve also been in the midst of job searching, and that has been a daunting task. I’ve found myself anxious about that and fearful, which scared me. However, I have seen just in the last week that the key to having the richest and fullest experience in my remaining time here is to live in faith rather than in fear. Do I trust that God is walking with me? Do I really trust that he has the way planned out ahead of me? If I do, the operating in fear isn’t an option.

This experience truly is so unique and will be one of the most formative experiences of my life. That is, if I:

  • Choose to invest in the community
  • Speak to that person next to me on the metro
  • Push past surface-level friendships
  • Work my hardest at IJM

 

With that, I challenge you to think about what has been driving your decisions and controlling how you spend your time: is it faith or fear?

Presley Puckett
International Justice Mission
Spring 2016, Washington D.C.